Thursday, April 23, 2015

Don't wake the baby.

Sometimes, I swear, anxiety is like this sleeping giant. One panic attack awakens it and it's like a restless child that can't go back to sleep.

A few weeks ago, panic hit me to the point where I was like, "Wow, was that a panic attack or is something seriously wrong with me?" (Not that attacks aren't wrong. I just notice that as we age and evolve, our panic symptoms seem to change--almost as if to keep us constantly on our feet.)

Since then, I've had some aftershocks. And my body generally feels lousy and on edge. I'm sure it's not that one attack that brought it all on--I'm aware of the stressors in my life that can get me into "a state." And while I'm not completely falling apart, I can feel a bit of what I remember to be like.

Prescription: Self-care, self-care, self-care.

Hopefully things will pick up again, and by pick up I mean slow down.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Now leaving your comfort zone.

Traveling is hard for me. There, I said it.

I know everyone loves it, and there are many aspects of it that I like. But truthfully, traveling brings up a lot of anxiety for me. Not just anxiety...physical anxiety. To the point of interruption. For years, I was ashamed of this...kind of still am. But I am trying to accept this, and that's easier because I know where all the anxiety stems from.

Even though it's tough, I made baby steps...a big stride, actually. I spent more than a week in Hilton Head, SC. It was beautiful and blissful. And despite a little anxiety, I was okay.

There's something to be said about throwing yourself into a situation and just dealing with it instead of anticipating all the things that could go wrong. Here's what's to be said: It's not that easy at all.

I think you have to get to a certain point where you can take that step of faith. It doesn't' just happen even though everyone says "Just Do It" like they're from Nike and it's not a big deal. It is a big deal.

Very grateful for the time in paradise and memories made. It was nice to get away, and I'm looking forward to being able to get away any time I want, even if I can't go away. It's all about balance, and perspective.