Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Losing it, gaining it.

The past week or so got a little crazy. We hosted one Thanksgiving and went to another, so Tim and I are a little turkeyed out.

Then, poof, it's Christmas time and the shopping begins--except I'm not really that interested in it this year. Didn't buy a single thing on Cyber Monday.

I realized about two weeks ago that my wedding rings are MIA. It's been utterly devastating, but I can honestly see all the lessons and insights one can gain from being in a bad situation. It helped me see that life could be so much worse. And remind me about what matters most. I still pray they turn up. If nothing else, maybe it'll be a good essay.

Lately, I'm a tad down in the dumps about my career, though. I mean, the ups and downs come with being a self-employed writer--and yes, I wrote a book on it, too. It just seems like no cool things are coming through. I'm working and I have projects, but I'm getting low-balled on a few. And this whole "just charge more" mentality doesn't always work unless you can go out there and get new clients. And I had, but then they kind of fell of the wagon as far as giving me more work. My days are filled with endless rejection letters (mainly because I'm shopping my kids book idea) but also filled with a lot of silence. Just when you think a client has forgotten you, they often pop back in with something they needed done last week. Makes you feel like you're the bottom of the barrel sometimes, no matter how "glamorous" writing my seem.

It's hard to get "in" to where I want to to--ideas for stories are great, but a magazine doesn't want them; great marketing agencies only want someone onsite hours away. I know my time will come. That's the great thing: Anything can happen. One call can turn my world back around, so I'm just working quietly and trusting that it will come in.

Those are my latest ramblings. Still grateful through it all, and staying positive. I'm glad, because these feelings used to really derail me.

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