Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The waiting game.

Busy with work, and busy feels good.

I'm also waiting...waiting for word that an agent will take me on to rep my kids book. I also have it out to a few publishers and would love to publish it directly, too. Just waiting. Something great could happen at any moment, and that wonder and possibility is a good feeling to immerse myself in. I like having something to look forward to.

I am so much more confident than I was when I started writing/publishing books about a decade ago. One rejection doesn't destroy me; I can appreciate a good critique and someone taking the time to evaluate my work. And I know the right person for this project is out there. I just cannot wait to meet him or her...but alas, I must, right?

This morning it was 26 degrees outside. And after much complaining, I went to the gym. I'm not where I was fitness wise since I had that cold last month. But I went. Check.

What are you waiting on? Are you enjoying the wait?

Monday, November 10, 2014

Autumn walks.

I'm into long walks lately. Mindful meditation types of walks where it's not really about fitness--though, it counts, right?--but it's more about recentering.

Today I was completely frustrated. I wonder sometimes how I go from an overflow of work to feeling like opportunities are drying up left and right. I mean, I believe that whole "one door closes, another opens" thing. It's just hard to accept it when a door closes--or when a few do at a time. That is what derails me, mentally.

Money, and fearing I won't have enough of it, has always been a fear. I grew up in a cash-strapped house.With one parent that worked her tail off, and another who didn't care to lift a finger. So money is always on my brain, especially because I am self-employed.

I work myself up every few months when projects stop flowing in. It's worse when I don't have too much money coming in; otherwise, it's not so bad. Then I try try try to drum up new opportunities and get frustrated when they don't pan out immediately. It's a vicious cycle--one I'm working on breaking.

That's where the walks come in. The walks, oh the glorious walks.

When every part of me wants to scream, "Nail your butt to your desk chair and keep working!" I take off. Today I worked all day and then took off for an hour to the reservoir--it's 1.6 miles around and I went twice. There was much to ponder, a lot of Il Volo and For King & Country to listen to along the way, and a lot of peace that came from it all.

Sometimes, you just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going...even if you're only going in circles. The time to wander, to process, to move...it all recenters me. It helps me plot my next steps, which definitely are leading to wonderful places.