Thursday, May 8, 2014

Birthdays, aging, doctors, and chai.

It's weird that when May comes around, I sort of get depressed. My birthday is in May, and I hate the thought of getting older. I know that I have it pretty good now. 

But in recent years, I've been trying to shift my mindset around aging. I think of the couple of friends I've lost who were young. And how they never got the privilege of aging. All the good stuff in my life that has come as I've aged...especially the few years. I also think that birthdays are a badge of in, I made it another year. And in an odd way, I think I'm brave for aging, because some people just give up on their lives (and yes, take them). 

Aging has always seemed scary to me. In my early 20s, I was panicked at the thought of paying bills and taking care of my own health. I went through a lot of health anxiety fretting that I could not care for my body, which would inevitably get sick. Things have changed, thank God. I took proactive care of myself and went to great lengths to find doctors I'm comfortable around. They make it easy for me to want to be proactive. They make otherwise scary procedures less daunting. And while I may never "like" doctors, I can take care of myself. When I think about getting older, I'm so grateful for this ability. For so many years, I didn't have it. Maybe that's why I feared aging.

In a few weeks, I will be 36. And while I like the ring of 35 (and the fact that it undoubtedly puts me in my mid-thirties), I'm going to embrace the new age. But not without relishing all the fun things my 35-year-old self has done, and still will do. My 35-year-old self has written another book, made brave advancements in her career,  completed testing to start medication for hypothyroidism, went paddleboarding, was a maid of honor at her sister's wedding, went through the loss of her furbaby, swam in the ocean, spent time with her beloved cousins, adopted another child (cat), took her vitamins almost daily, spent quality time with her nieces and nephews, took care of her home, started eating chia seeds and flax seeds, got published in a major women's health magazine, continued practicing yoga, consumed and relished each Starbucks skim chai, lifted more weights, painted a basement, went on bike rides, cared for her mother, loved her husband, prayed and expressed gratitude...oh my list goes on.

Grateful. 35. 36. Whatever. Age is just a number.


Michael Iafrato said...

Wonderful perspective of the growing old problem, or the opportunities presented with growing older. I turn 39 this year. That means 40 is on the horizon. But I am not scared, no I am going to use your attitude as a guide.

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