Thursday, February 27, 2014

Beauty in the battle.

Past few days have certainly "upped" my stress. My mother had another knee surgery (she had two replacements on one knee and a "manipulation" to break up scar tissue--all in the past few years). Tuesday, she went in for her right knee. There are no more knees to operate on, and I pray everything goes super smoothly.

Being in a hospital is like sensory overload for me. At least in a mall there are things you want to look at and see. Not so in a hospital.

I was proud of myself, though. Years ago, I would get panic attacks at the thought of going. But I've been doing so much better with it.

There were a few touch-and-go moments--for me, mind you. One nurse was so horribly rude and mean, over and over, and I swear I nearly punched her. Then nurses were fighting in front of my mom after surgery (who does that? Professional, much?) and I started shaking. I looked around at all these people, incapacitated. Wires, tubes, scents. Ugh. All the stuff that used to send me overboard. I just breathed and tried to focus on mom, and stay in the moment. Though the Jersey girl in me wanted to hit them, too (the rude nurses, not the recovering patients). The rest of the staff were wonderful once she was in a room.

I met a few very nice people in the hospital, and that positivity made the experience so much better. There really is beauty everywhere.

It's raised my sensitivity though...just the whole thing of traveling there and dealing with the emotions of seeing your parent ill.

So, some down time is in order. I wonder when it will come.

In all non-sarcasticness, though, I need to make the time. I need to take care of myself--no one else will.

I slept like a log last night, like one of those incapacitated patients in the recovery room. It's amazing how much the two days at the hospital took out of me. I guess to the normal person, it's no big deal. This will take days to recover from, though.

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